Buckshot the Bad Alarm Clock

Oh man, where do I even begin this time. Buckshot, my very nosy horse, has been up to no good lately. It all started with him learning that if he leaned on the gate it would eventually open (since remedied) and he could leave. His first trip got me an early phone call from Animal Control. This time I was woken up at 5:50 am by someone laying on their horn in my driveway. "Hey do you have a horse?" someone's yelling. I fly out of bed and grab the nearest article of clothing, running for my boots and the back door. About the time I'm headed out the wide open back gate I realize that the "clothes" I pulled on is a skanky sundress I wear before bed, I keep heading down the driveway towards a large delivery van and a huge 300 pound guy with super long dreads down his back. He's yelling about a horse and pointing towards direct buy around the corner. I turn and there is Buckshot walking as fast as he can down the side walk heading towards the freeway exit ramp and morning commuters on the 680. The giant guy offers me a ride and I am thinking "oh hell no" and my kids are asleep in the house, but I have no chance of catching Buck before he gets to the freeway so I hop in anyways. So we go tearing out of the driveway and hauling tail around the corner Buckshot spots us and spooks. Buckshots answer to every thing scary is "speed" so of course he starts trotting up the 680 ramp heading straight for 70 mph traffic. I jump out of the van and run catching him about 30 ft up the ramp. In my panic I hadn't grabbed a rope so I start home holding him by his halter, not very safe but I have no choice. Buckshot decides he's scared of the squishy direct buy grass so I switch him sides. When we come to the end of the sidewalk there is a teeny bit of water in the gutter, maybe 1/4 inch, Buckshot is petrified and refuses to walk over the water and leaps over the gutter instead, somehow I hang on and don't get my arm pulled out of the socket. When I get him back home he's "scared" of the gate and doesn't want to go in. After a quick reminder that I am in no mood to tolerate any funny business he walks through with no problem. Now that we know he can open the gate for we've added an extra lock you need thumbs to use. I give it a month!